The day is almost here and it is crazy to think about!  I was really stressed today at work which made for a long afternoon. I broke down today and I think it was a good thing for me because I have been trying so hard to not let it affect me and not show any emotion, but it happened and it felt good to just let it out. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m scared for Thursday. I keep telling myself that is no big deal and I will be fine, which I will, but I think deep down I’m more nervous than I thought I would be. 

I had to get a new phone today because my phone finally stopped working, so maybe I’ll spend the next couple days trying to figure that out and not think about surgery. I did realize one of my biggest fears going into the surgery though, what if I come out and can’t talk? I know it sounds stupid, but it is a possibility. Now I know I shouldn’t be thinking about that stuff, but it is still in the back of my mind. It’s such a weird feeling to go into something feeling relatively normal and know you are going to feel like crap after. 

 My mind has finally caught up with me and I feel like I am losing my tough edge. I find myself more stressed with work and worrying about the next couple weeks, it can be very overwhelming at times. Again lost it today, but this time it was after work to one of my Co workers. I do well for certain periods of time where my poker face is flawless, but then there are times that I just need to let it out like today. It felt good, a much need release! 

 Now the hope is that I figured out my alarm enough on my new phone so it actually goes off when it is supposed to tomorrow! Here’s to getting some sleep and for a better tomorrow! 2 days from tomorrow and the day will finally be here! 

 Love to you all, until tomorrow! 

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