First off, I have to admit, I cried today…….Twice. I was so incredibly frustrated at the endocrinologist because all I wanted was my ultrasound results and yet I walk away with nothing but an uneasy pit in my stomach.

We were supposed to go over my treatment plan for post surgery and as she was going through the questions that are pretty typical, I started tearing up at the question “do you currently feel anxious or depressed?” I just couldn’t help I’m so much stronger than what I showed in the doctor’s office but I couldn’t help it. I was frustrated, cranky, and emotional which is not a good combination! After I got over that brief moment, I had to know what the lymph node mapping showed. She pulled up the results and suggested we look at them together. I have one node in level 2 of a neck ultrasound which is located under my ear by my jawline that came back as “Abnormal”, but “might be ok”…….cue breakdown #2.

That was exactly what my normal doctor said after the first ultrasound of my tumor in the thyroid, she said “nothing looks too alarming so it might be ok”. It didn’t turn out ok, it turned out to be cancer, so I apologize if I am not excited to hear you say it might be ok because I heard that once and it wasn’t.

After she saw how upset I got with the lack of an answer, she called my surgeon to further discuss the results. He determined that he was unsure as to what to make of the initial results and that he was going to send the results to another radiologist for a second opinion. The endo then looks and me and says “do you feel better about it now?” No lady, I don’t, thanks for asking though!

After an hour and a half at this appointment, my mom and I finally left with a plan for thyroid hormone replacement therapy after surgery. Basically I will take one medication for 2 weeks, go back and see her to change to a different medicine for 4 weeks, and then off of all medicine for 2 weeks. During (or after, I think) these 2 weeks, I will then go through radio iodine therapy in which I will be quarantined for 7-10 days. This is done so that any remaining cells will be killed off from the radiation.

If this lymph node is something they want to further investigate, then I will have to get it biopsies and wait for the results of that as well. Again, I hope my surgeon hears from the radiologist sooner rather than later so I know what is going on. Tentatively, surgery is scheduled for July 18th at Evanston hospital. I wish it was sooner but this was as quick as I could potentially get it done.

As for right now it is more waiting with more tests possible in near future, but we shall see about that. Tonight I spent time with my family which included a 2.5 mile walk and I am trying to remain positive about everything even though I let my emotions get the best of me today. Tomorrow will be a good day with great things, you just gotta believe!!

Love to you all until tomorrow!

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